This starts to happen when your life is about to transform.
Work
The work you do no longer fulfils you. You feel a dread about what position or job to do next because you just don’t know anymore what work you can do, what you’re good at or what you want.
You felt so enthused going to the next bright shiny company, thinking this would be the one. Here they would see you and appreciate you and you would make your mark and shine. And they did. And you did. But.
You feel tired, uninspired and now you’re feeling more anxious about things, which is strange because it was always lurking underneath before and you could hide it, talk over it, act over it.. You can’t act so well these days. You haven’t got the energy. Never was work such hard work.
Relationships
You feel anger bubbling up to the surface in some of your relationships/friendships. Maybe you felt annoyed by others’ behaviour in the past, but now you can’t hide it so well. You want to scream it all out. You want your hurt to be felt. You want that friend to see you and hear you. Why is it always about them? Why can’t they see? Are they blind??
Maybe you have been suppressing your feelings for fear of those around you not understanding you. It may be the case that your partner avoids the more difficult emotions altogether and as a result, you, as a sensitive person, feel misunderstood, silenced and quite alone with the worries you are facing.
You want friendships and want to spend time with your friends, but you also feel a need to be alone. Sometimes you can’t put a face on for the world, when in truth, you really just want to hide from it all.
Your Self.
When alone you disappear into tunnels in your mind. You can get lost in thoughts - fearful ones, anxious ones, shameful ones. Perhaps you feel that the ground feels a bit wobbly and many things in life that once made you happy don’t seem to anymore.
You might feel insecure all of a sudden in your marriage, at work. Even driving a car having been easy in the past, will bring more anxiety, as will flying and just every day interactions with others will feel harder and more stressful.
You feel lost, confused, untethered and you don’t know why.
How can everybody be happy, have energy and know how to do life? What can’t I?
What wrong with me?
Some Clarity for you
All of the above are signs of growth. Not to be mistaken for there being anything wrong with you, only that you are, at a deeper level, starting to become really aware, perhaps for the first time - of you and your life. There is a version of you wanting to be revealed, to be birthed.
Maybe you are a caterpillar becoming a butterfly?
No doubt you have been surrounded by other caterpillars (like attracts like and your vibe attracts your tribe?!) so they cannot help you see past this point in your (or their) life.
I encourage you to be brave and seek out butterflies in life so that they can help you understand your process, reassure you and guide you through it.
Your wings await!
xxx
“Transformation starts with dissatisfaction, frustration and exhaustion. It is complete when you become aware. And when you are aware, your life begins anew.”