I started to trust myself and life again and I am here to help others to realise this too.
Many of us have spent much of our lives looking outside of ourselves for people to accept us, love us, admire us, fix us and save us.
We have sought people, places and things to soothe us and reassure us. And mostly, we have tried really hard to be enough - nice enough, funny enough, polite enough, pretty enough, successful enough, cool enough, pleasing enough and ultimately good enough.
Maybe you, like many others, look to the outside world as a guide to check on how you are doing in life. All good when it’s good but when people seem dissatisfied or unhappy with you, that’s very uncomfortable isn’t it? To compensate, you may work too hard, give too much, help too much. Maybe you people-please, put yourself down, berate yourself and basically don’t do yourself any favours.
The problem with this way of life, is that it catches up with you at a certain point. I should know, because that point arrived for me in 2015.
In 2015 I started to feel unhappy with my life and myself.
My life-long coping mechanisms weren’t working anymore. I couldn’t laugh things away, or drink them, smoke them, or shop them away.
I felt unhappy in my work despite being offered a big promotion. I didn’t want it, I realised, but I also didn’t know what else there was for me in that company or any other company for that matter.
I didn’t feel talented at anything, good at anything. I was in advertising sales for a creative design magazine and felt like I was just bringing in money but I had no real talent. I lost my confidence and my self-belief plummeted. I would get anxious just driving the car and was constantly worrying about the past and future in my head.
I didn’t have the energy anymore to pretend to have enthusiasm for things that ultimately didn’t fulfil me.
It seemed that so many things I had been defined by were threatening to collapse in my life. The glamorous job that flew me around the world for a fancy magazine I no longer wanted. The soulmate relationship that I felt would always be there I was now sensing cracks in. Some of my friendships I suddenly felt unseen and unheard in. All that once had defined who I was in the world seemed to be unstable. I wasn’t satisfied with it anymore. I was feeling overwhelmed, drained and confused by my unhappiness.
What did I want? What did I enjoy? What were my values? What was I gifted at? I had no idea. Blank.
That is when I got support to figure it all out, to figure myself out.
It was time to face the fact that although my life looked great, it felt anything but.
For the first time I started to invest in helping and changing myself. And this time it wasn’t by going on another diet, buying a self-help book, going to the gym, buying a new bag or pair of shoes, getting my hair done, getting my nails done or drowning my sorrows in a bar.
It was investing in speaking therapy and coaching. I had spent a life time going out. Now I was going in. And that was a game changer. A life changer actually.
As I had my weekly sessions I began to feel lighter. I had a space where I could talk about parts of my life and how I felt. Somebody actually listened deeply to what I was saying, without butting in or giving advice based on their own life.
Through a combination of speaking therapy and coaching I began to start seeing myself very differently. This came from slowing down and beginning to tap into my own voice, my own truth and my own perspective.
I realised I wasn’t meant to be like anyone else, I was meant to be me.
I felt heard and seen and I started to remember what I used to love doing. For much of my adult life I had forsaken creative outlets in pursuit of zoning-out to cope from the stress of living an unexamined life. So I started going out on dates with myself and I started to really enjoy my own company. Who would have known I was a great date?
Coaching and therapy freed up space for my own wisdom and creative energy to be released and utilised.
I started to voraciously read books again as I had done as a child, I started to write poetry, draw and paint. I started to do some open mic nights sharing my story. I became very interested in many healing modalities - some which I studied including Reiki, Pranic Healing and Reflexology.
I realised a great passion for indigenous wisdom and synchronicity started to lead me to information and people that I studied with and learned from.
Then I found out about Wayfinder Life Coaching, I certified and have never looked back.
I help people to find their own voice and power as I have found mine. It is the most wonderful gift to be able to do this life changing work which is so fulfilling and inspiring every single day.
Coaching with me provides transformational tools and practises in the here and now which help you to forge new beliefs, thoughts, behaviours, actions and ultimately a new life.
You learn to trust yourself, believe in yourself and most importantly, to just be yourself.
